We’ve all been there—hearing an internal voice whisper doubts about our choices, feelings, or worth. For those hesitant to speak up when something feels off, that voice often gets amplified: Am I overreacting? Why does this even bother me? Maybe I should just let it go.
The advice many of us hear is to “silence the inner critic.” It sounds empowering at first—an act of self-liberation. But what if silencing isn’t the solution? What if the real power lies in questioning instead of silencing, in discerning rather than dismissing?
As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” The key word here is consent, and it applies not just to external voices but also to our internal ones.
Listening with Curiosity, without Consenting to the Negativity
Your inner critic’s voice isn’t inherently good or bad—it’s a signal. A signal worth examining rather than muting. Ignoring it entirely risks losing access to valuable insights. On the other hand, blindly believing it can drag you into self-doubt. Instead of silencing, try asking:
What am I reacting to here?
Is this concern rooted in fact, fear, or habit?
How can I use this moment to learn more about myself or my boundaries?
This approach shifts the focus from battling yourself to collaborating with yourself. Your inner critic doesn’t dictate truth; it raises questions. You get to decide whether to consent to its suggestions.
Bridging the Inner and Outer Voice
When you practice questioning your inner critic, you also strengthen your ability to navigate interpersonal conflicts and tense conversations. Too often, we silence ourselves in external situations—convinced we’re overreacting or fearing we’ll be seen as unreasonable. The same curiosity you apply inward can be applied outward:
What is the real issue here?
Why does this bother me, and what does it reveal about my needs or values?
How can I express this constructively, even if I feel unsure?
By framing both inner and outer conflict as opportunities for curiosity and growth, you free yourself from the trap of self-doubt and silence.
Your Voice, Your Choice
Whether the voice is inside your head or coming from someone else, it’s important to remember: a statement doesn’t become true just because it’s said out loud. You get to choose what you believe, what you consent to, and what you speak up about.
Instead of silencing your inner critic, engage with it. Turn judgment into discernment. Let curiosity lead the way. Because in the end, your voice is your choice—and it’s a powerful one.
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