Have you ever stayed quiet when you knew you needed to speak up? Maybe you avoided a conversation because it felt safer to retreat than to risk vulnerability. Or perhaps you convinced yourself it wasn’t the right time to ask for clarity, express your needs, or stand up for yourself.
The truth is, staying silent carries a cost—a high one. It can keep you stuck in cycles of frustration, self-doubt, and missed opportunities. But why is it so hard to ask for what we want or need?
When Wounds Speak Louder Than Wisdom
Often, it’s not logic or wisdom that keeps us silent—it’s our wounds. Past experiences where we weren’t heard or respected can echo loudly, convincing us that asking for what we want is risky, futile, or even dangerous.
But what if those very experiences—the ones that didn’t go as planned—hold the wisdom we need to move forward?
Instead of letting past conversations intimidate or define us, we can look to them for lessons:
What patterns do I see in these experiences?
What’s one thing I would do differently if given the chance?
What beliefs am I holding onto about myself or others that might not be serving me?
When we stop negotiating with ourselves using should-have, would-have, could-have attempts at rationalizing, we free up space to ask better, more empowering questions: What’s truly non-negotiable for me?
What’s Scarier Than Speaking Up?
People often think asking for what we want is scary. But have you considered what’s happens when you stay silent?
If you don’t speak up, how will others see, hear, or understand you? How will you create the opportunities you deserve? Who will be making decisions for you?
Silence might feel like self-protection, but it often robs us of the chance to learn, grow, and build connections on our terms.
Taking the First Step
Here’s a challenge: Take one step today toward speaking up on your own behalf. Start by asking yourself:
What do I truly need or want in this moment?
What’s holding me back from asking for it?
What’s the best that could happen if I do?
Your past conversations don’t have to haunt you. Instead, let them guide you. Each one is a stepping stone toward finding your voice and building the confidence to use it.
If you answer these questions and still feel like speaking up is too hard, click here to let us know and we can work together to figure out what’s holding you back and what steps you’d feel comfortable taking (if any).
Remember, your voice is your choice. And asking for what you want? That’s the first step toward empowering yourself in future conversations.
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